For the past weeks and months, I thought I had it figured out.
I thought I had everything, or most of it, under control: manage work before it gets too big, keep time on the side for personal interests and projects, and enough social interaction to produce new opportunities regularly.
It was without counting with family! Family gets happy or gets sick, relatives visit you or they need you at their bedside. Family needs to talk, and you'd better be there to listen, because they have been there for you before.
I need to be honest here: oftentimes lately I feel like I should just send whoever to hell, go traveling round the world. I feel hindered by my relationships to a certain place, a certain history, and that it's gonna keep me from realizing my dreams.
Luckily, I have been reading a bit. "The 7 habits of highly effective people" and Dan Buettner at a TED conference provide me with an answer for this situation:
- be trustworthy and caring with those close to you and you'll build up an "emotional account" that is beneficial both to you and to those people, by making the relationship easy and a source of positive feelings
- live by principles, so that when you disagree with someone, you have enough confidence and wisdom not to make it personal or aggressive; it's just that you are different, and if you are mature enough you'll respect each other for having different views on some topics
- the moment I start feeling "hindered" by my family, I know that I need to change perspectives, and see the opportunity. My life balance principle tells me I should not try to avoid all contact and responsibility just because I feel like being on holiday.
It is a huge opportunity to:
- show your gratitude to the people who raised you up. It is not about "I sacrifice for them because they sacrificed for me". I don't like the idea of sacrifice, there is guilt and regret associated to it. It's about openly, proactively, extending a generous hand, lending time, feeling actually glad to be able to help.
- listen. We like to talk, we fill our living rooms with the sound of music and TVs. But to have the chance to listen to someone, who has lived a rather long life, share some of the wisdom and talk about insignificant event of the daily life makes you reflect on your own life. And think twice about what you really want to give priority to.
- connect. I believe when you manage to listen and empathize, and as you are here you have shown your involvement and caring, a connection between you and another individual simply happens, that participates to the feeling of fulfillement of someone's life and sense of purpose and achievement.
What do you think? I'd like to read your thoughts about it.
